If you think it will help, you can share a little bit more about how painful your marriage was, how free you feel now, and how committed you are to making the most of your life as a widow, without making any jokes or trying to relieve the tension with humor, if you think there’s something that they’re missing from the story. But beyond that, you don’t need them to agree with you that the time is right in order to get on that plane. It may be one thing for them to acknowledge your marriage was an unhappy one, but they may be unable to join in making jokes about him with you. If your family feels uncomfortable when you make jokes about your husband’s death, I do think it’s reasonable to limit your more-off-color comments for close friends (or a therapist) who understand why gallows humor is called for in this situation. Worry about making sure you’re well-packed for your trip. They all knew how horrible my marriage was, which is what makes their reaction now more hurtful.Ī: Don’t worry about getting through to them. At the end, I was isolated and alone my only social outlet was my family. If I left, he would “pursue me to the ends of the earth.” He never hit me, for what it is worth. He cheated on me constantly and would cheerfully recount all my inadequacies compared with his mistresses. He was a miserable, vindictive man whose greatest joy was tearing me down. The day my husband died was the happiest day of my life. Here’s an edited transcript of this week’s chat.ĭaniel Mallory Ortberg: Good morning, everyone! Let’s chat. Help! My Friends Don’t Think I’m Attractive Enough to Be With My Hot Husband.ĭaniel Mallory Ortberg is online weekly to chat live with readers. ![]() Help! I Caught My Nephew Lying About What He’s Really Doing at College. Help! My Family Separated Triplets at Birth. Help! My Mom and I Are in a Blowout Fight Over a Wedding Choice That Should Be Mine.
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